Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig

Yes, it's true. We are returning to home, sweet home. Montana. Freezing cold, snowier than in many years past, Montana. As it turns out, my uncle - who is flying down just to drive back with the girls and I - has to be back in Montana on January 27. For those of you whose bell doesn't ring when hearing that date, it is my birthday. I can think of no better way to spend it than at HOME!

Now, don't get me wrong. I have been drawn towards Florida since my first trip here almost 4 years ago. Since that very first time, it has also felt like home to me. It is so hard to love two places so much but only be able to live in one at a time! And though these 5 months in Florida have been filled with almost nothing but struggle, heartache, and many times a sense of being lost, I wouldn't have traded them for the WORLD. I still love it here and the knowledge that I am leaving is VERY bittersweet.

Here in Florida I have been able to nurture a friendship that means the world to me. My sister-in-law, "T", and I had pretty much an instant connection when we first met 3.5 years ago. We have continued to grow closer in spite of the 2300 miles that separated us. But being this close and spending every day with her has been a blessing that I cannot even begin to express. I will miss her more than anything else. (Well, except maybe the weather...lol) T is like a sister to me.

Of course, I will also miss my brother, M. Even with all of his rough, and I mean VERY rough, edges, he is absolutely wonderful. My girls think he hung the moon and stars and he never fails to be able to get them to smile or laugh even when they are most determined not to.

I have been struggling to figure out exactly what lessons I am to hold onto from this time in my life. I've been told that there have been changes in me and while that's great, I don't see them or even know what they are. Apparently they are positive changes, so I am thankful for that. However, as I am writing this post today, I am wondering if part of this journey was just God giving me one of the desires of my heart - the chance to live in and experience Florida. And, now that my "free" time is almost up, it is time to return home, finish school and prepare for whatever He has in store for us next. I have to be honest, I'm kind of excited (for the first time in my life) to NOT know what is around the next corner. For a control freak, that's a pretty big step! The best part though, is that I am free from fear in just letting God take over and lead the girls and I where He would have us go. One of the lessons I have learned these past few months I guess!

So, while I know that there will be those who will view this time of many, many, many changes in a very negative light and will question my "rightness" in "doing this" to my children, I also know that I can hold my head up high because I am a daughter of the Most High God and am following His will for my life. Apparently, it's just not always supposed to make sense to we silly little humans!

I also want to say thank you to all of you who have been praying for us through all of this. Certainly, it is those prayers that have seen us through. Please continue to pray as we plan a trip across the country in the MIDDLE OF THE WINTER! And for my sanity as I do one of the things that I like the least...packing!